Granny Hooks A Crook Archives - fundinmentalfundinmental

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Granny Hooks A Crook
by Julie Seedorf

This is such a fun title and cover, I just had to share it with all of you.

Did you get a chuckle or two from the post?

What is your Granny like?

Granny Hooks A Crook (A Fuschia Minnosata Mystery)

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Book Details
File Size: 294 KB
Print Length: 200 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1939816122
Publisher: Cozy Cat Press (July 10, 2013)
ASIN: B00DVL2CVU
Cozy Mystery

Synopsis

Granny leads a secret life in the small, unique community of Fuschia, Minnesota. It’s not just her all junk food diet, multiplying pets, or her shocking bedtime attire that makes Granny one in a million. No, Granny is an undercover cop, charged by “the Big Guy” (the town’s police chief) of preventing theft in local stores. Granny takes her job seriously and daily foils many shoplifters using her trusty spiked umbrella and amazing acting skills. When some startlingly brazen burglaries begin to occur that Granny can’t solve, along with mysteriously appearing bad guys, disappearing clerks, and misplaced Corvettes, Granny begins to wonder if she isn’t ready for the wrinkle farm. Maybe, it’s fortuitous when she accidentally-on-purpose falls in the lap of an attractive older gentleman who is soon roped into her wild adventures, as they try to figure out what’s happening in their little town.

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Guest Post

GRANNY IS AS GRANNY DOES

I am a Granny. A Granny can be many things. Some Grannies bake cookies. Some Grannies sew clothes and blankets for their Grandchildren. Some Grannies are very good at taking care of a Grandchild. I don’t think I would qualify as any of those types of Grannies.

I do bake but only when my Grandchildren are here. My granddaughter, at a Grandparents day at her school, wrote that she loved to bake with me. I have her fooled. It is something I do because that is what you do with your grandchildren but it is not something that I do when they are not here.

I have made them quilts and sewed some quilts and other crafty items for them. They think I sew. I don’t sew unless it is something specific they ask for. My sewing machine doesn’t see the light of day unless it is a grandchild project. Yes, there are those types of Grannies that actually do those things all the time. They don’t have to fool their grandchildren by only doing it when their grandchildren come into their home.

I write about Grannies. Granny in Granny Hooks A Crook is a little unbelievable but I like fantasy. Granny is the best and most mischievous parts of my mother. She is the part of me that wants to be more daring. She is someone that looks old age in the face and wins. She lives in a community that is weird to say the least. But the rules in Granny’s community defy all the rules that we have that constrict us in our real communities. Fuchsia, Minnesota is the dream of a dreamer (me)that likes color in a world of colorless houses and doesn’t believe in the tight restrictions that keep us old people from believing we can be anything else but sick and useless.

My grandchildren took me out of a world of reality; taught me how to dream again and brought me back to a self I had lost when the real world intruded upon my dreams. I am like Granny, a little deceitful when it comes to letting them believe I am a baker, a cook and sew maker. That is a small part of the Grandma they know.

They know me as a woman that can take a computer apart and put it back together. They know me as a woman that can weave dreams into stories. They know me as a person that acts silly, rides some (small) roller coasters, dresses in pink and purple and likes weird, weird earrings. The Granny in my book Whatchamacallit? Thingamajig?, is a lot like me. My grandchildren helped me write this book. They know I will help them weave their dreams.

I had a Granny, actually two of them, but one I am going to highlight today. My Granny died when I was six years old and I have come to believe at my old age that Grannies never leave. They whisper and watch over our shoulders and give us strength courage and weird ideas. At least I am convinced mine did.

I did not tell my publisher what I thought the Granny in my book should look like. I didn’t communicate that. When the cover came back it was exactly as I pictured Granny. I suspect there was help from above when the illustrator created the cover. I was wearing the t-shirt I designed with Granny’s picture on the shirt as I was driving to a book signing. For some strange reason I started remembering and thinking about my Granny that died when I was six. I could not get her out of my head and then I realized why. The Granny on my book cover was an exact clone for my Granny. Granny in my book looked like my Granny. She had the same body, the same glasses, the same hair and the same nose and the same lips. I was sure and I couldn’t wait to get home to compare the two. I found a picture and yes, they were twins. I cannot tell you how moved I was at that moment.

If you are a Grandma or a Grandpa, let your light shine into the hearts of your grandchildren. Let them know who you are and who you were when you were young. Whatever your talent is as a Granny, it is your talent. Your Grandchildren will love you for it. If you want to be a little deceitful about one or two small things, like the Granny in my book and like me with my baking skills, I think it is ok. It means that you are stretching yourself to do something you might not be good at for someone you love. Just remember to have a sense of humor if you burn the vegetables. That is what I am known for in my family. That legacy about me will live on forever.

My Grandma died when I was very young. I don’t remember her baking or her sewing as she was in her 80’s when I was 6. She didn’t move very fast and I didn’t have her for very long but I will tell you what made her special to me and what I remember.

I remember her orchid crème that she always used. The smell even today reminds me of her. I remember her siting on her bed and letting me comb her long thin hair into a bun. I remember her smile. I remember her hugs, and now I also know she has never forgotten me. How else could my Granny in my book look like my Granny in real life without it being planned? Only Granny knows.

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About The Author

Julie Seedorf owns her own computer repair business, but her secret undercover job is writing. Her column “Something About Nothing” for a Minnesota newspaper is about nothing, which is what we talk about most of the time, always with something underneath the conversation. Julie has been a wife, mother, grandmother, housewife, barmaid, salesperson, activity director, full time volunteer and more. Her motto is, “If you dream it, you can do it.” Her Fuchsia Minnesota, published by Cozy Cat Press is her first journey in her undercover career. Having lived in small communities in Minnesota all her life, she knows the richness and uniqueness that only a small town can bring and with a little humor and imagination, she transforms those experiences into her imaginary Fuchsia community.

Webpage / Goodreads: Julie Seedorf / Twitter: @julieseedorf,

Blog / Facebook / Column

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Excerpt

Granny didn’t always like to get up in the morning. It seemed a waste of a good bed to get out of it so early in the morning. First, Granny would wallow in the warmth. She would squirm a little and enjoy the softness of the mattress. Granny would then open one eye to see if it was light yet. If it appeared that the sun was up, she would open the other eye very slowly, not wanting to get too excited. Getting up too fast always made her head spin.

Granny would then stick her big toe out of the blanket, trying to determine the weather. Her big toe was a good barometer. If it started turning blue, she knew it was cold and her toe was going to throb on and off for the day. If it stayed red, Granny knew that it would be a good day for her flip flops, even though she wasn’t supposed to be wearing them. Her kids harassed her about wearing her flip flops, something about not walking properly and being at risk of falling. She couldn’t make them understand that at her age she was always at risk for falling, so why not live dangerously in her flip flops.

Granny always looked around first before attempting the final lift out of her bed. She had to make sure there weren’t any kids or grandkids visiting before she threw off the covers. At her age it was easy to forget if her kids and grandkids had stayed over. Occasionally, she forgot they were there even before she climbed into bed. It didn’t bother her that her memory was a little foggy. It was a good excuse to use when she needed to get out of something she didn’t want to do, or if she got caught somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be.

Usually, if Granny remembered before she went to bed that her kids and grandkids stayed over, she would dress in her granny gown pajamas. It was what they expected of someone her age and she didn’t want to ruin their expectations. But when Granny was by herself, she occasionally slept in the nude and occasionally she wore her hot pink, silk shortie nightgown with red hearts on it. Or she might wear her purple leather PJ’s that stated Sexy Granny and I Know It.

Granny’s secret PJ’s always made her smile before she went to bed. It made the creaky body and the saggy skin feel better. She still felt like that sexy granny inside. Her mind never did keep up with her body.

There were times her kids would visit unexpectedly in the morning and have breakfast waiting for Granny when she stumbled into the kitchen from her warm bed. She could see the horror on their faces if they caught her in anything other than her granny pajamas. She would be sent to the wrinkle farm faster than she could lose her flip flops.

Tour Participants

November 14 – Kelly P’s Blog – Guest Post, Giveaway
November 15 – Community Bookstop – Review
November 16 – Melina’s Book Blog – Review, Guest Post
November 17 – Cozy Up With Kathy – Interview
November 18 – Christa Reads and Writes – Review, Giveaway
November 19 – Mochas, Mysteries and More – Guest Post
November 20 – fundinmental – Guest Post, Giveaway
November 21 – Musings and Ramblings – Guest Post
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November 26 – Brooke Blogs – Review, Guest Post