Review – I’ll Be Waiting by Kelley Armstrong @KelleyArmstrong #netgalley #illbewaiting

Amazon / Audiobook / Goodreads

I’ll Be Waiting is one of the best Kelley Armstrong novels I have read in some time.

“I’ll Be Waiting”, were some of Anton’s last words. Nicola had thought their short time together would be because of her illness, Cystic Fibrosis. She cannot accept that he is gone, so she hops from one seance to another.

Don’t we all know, don’t go in the basement. Yet, she does.

I didn’t trust the right person and did trust the wrong person. That’s some great writing. Sucked me right in.

I love that Kelley Armstrong had my head spinning. I couldn’t figure out if Nicola was being played or if it was true. I do love a convoluted ghost story. One that I am not able to figure out for myself. I was fooled and when I found the truth, I loved the book all the more. It’s nice to be surprised. I couldn’t figure out who to trust and was sucked into the ghostly mystery.

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5 Stars

From New York Times Bestselling author Kelley Armstrong comes a spellbinding new tale of supernatural horror involving a haunted-house, seances, lost loved ones, and a sinister spirit out for blood…

Nicola Laughton never expected to see adulthood, being diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis as a child. Then medical advances let her live into her thirties and she met Anton, who taught her to dream of a future… together. Months after they married, Anton died in a horrible car, but lived long enough to utter five words to her, “I’ll be waiting for you.”

That final private moment became public when someone from the crash scene took it to the press—the terminally ill woman holding her dying husband as he promised to wait for her on the other side. Worse, that person claimed it wasn’t Anton who said the words but his ghost, hovering over his body.

Since their story went public, Nicola has been hounded by spiritualists promising closure. In the hopes of stopping her downward spiral, friends and family find a reputable medium—a professor of parapsychology. For the séance, they rent the Lake Erie beach house that Anton’s family once owned.

The medium barely has time to begin his work before things start happening. Locked doors mysteriously open. Clouds of insects engulf the house. Nicola hears footsteps and voices and the creak of an old dumbwaiter…in an empty shaft. Throughout it all she’s haunted by nightmares of her past. Because, unbeknownst to the others, this isn’t her first time contacting the dead. And Nicola isn’t her real name.

That’s when she finds the first body….

In this atmospheric, thrilling new ghost story, Kelley Armstrong’s full talents are on display to thrill, chill and leave the reader guessing how Nicola escapes with her life–if she can.

  • Genre: Ghosts, Horror, Mystery, Romance, Suspense, Thriller
  • 336 pages, Hardcover
  • Expected publication October 1, 2024 by St Martin’s Press
Kelley Armstrong

Kelley Armstrong has been telling stories since before she could write. Her earliest written efforts were disastrous. If asked for a story about girls and dolls, hers would invariably feature undead girls and evil dolls, much to her teachers’ dismay. All efforts to make her produce “normal” stories failed.

Today, she continues to spin tales of ghosts and demons and werewolves, while safely locked away in her basement writing dungeon. She’s the author of the NYT-bestselling “Women of the Otherworld” paranormal suspense series and “Darkest Powers” young adult urban fantasy trilogy, as well as the Nadia Stafford crime series. Armstrong lives in southwestern Ontario with her husband, kids and far too many pets.

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$25 GC – Rabbit Moon by Jan D Payne @xpressotours

Rabbit Moon
Jan D. Payne
Publication date: September 17th 2024
Genres: Adult, Mystery, Thriller

They say you can’t go back home, but Marin Sinclair, end-of-life doula, doesn’t expect her life to be in danger when she answers a mysterious plea for help from a long-ago friend and returns to Dinetah, the Navajo Nation. Her past there holds memories she is reluctant to confront, but what about her life then would make someone want to kill her?

Navajo Nation Police Sergeant Justin Blue Eyes shares a connection with Marin from the past, and he has a few questions of his own when Marin disappears―such as why the Nuclear Regulatory Commission has agents investigating the abandoned uranium mines on the reservation and how Marin is connected.

Marin needs to survive to find any answers, and to do so she is forced to run, going off the grid on her own in the Lukachukai mountains with unknown killers close behind.

Goodreads / Amazon

—

EXCERPT:

The Bilagaana woman’s eyes were wide and staring, and even if she wasn’t a ghost-witch Haastiin Sani thought maybe she was crazy. Only someone crazy would have been out here alone in the dark and the rain. Crazy people must be treated with care, and the same for ghost-witches. It didn’t help to make them angry.

He looked at the woman, considering.

She was trembling now, as if cold, but witches and crazy people both were known to be clever. The sooner he saw her off the better, and he jerked his chin toward the direction of his camp and motioned the woman to follow. He would show her every hospitality and then gently nudge her on her way.

She looked somewhat better when he gave her a cup of hot coffee and offered the frybread his daughter had left for him, inviting her with a nod to take it, and tears came into her eyes as her lips and chin began to tremble.

Very much like a normal person, but it could be a ruse to cause him to relax his vigilance so she could blow corpse dust over him. He busied himself with the fire and wished fervently to be rid of this evil.

Marin knew she made this man very uncomfortable, and she thought she even knew why, considering where and how he had found her, but she didn’t know how to relieve his fears without making things worse.

“Thank you,” Marin murmured to the old man. “Ahéhee’,” she repeated.

She studied the man on the other side of the fire. His face was seamed and wrinkled, his frame was tall and spare beneath the loose shirt of red cotton tied with a woven sash. His gray hair was worn long, and there was a turquoise bead woven into a strand of hair near one temple.

A hogan was built higher up the slope, a blanket hanging across the eastern door, and an empty sheep pen was tucked into a rocky cliff a short way from it. A handsome bay horse wearing a rope halter stood nearby, sheltering under overhanging boards propped between a few corral poles and the cliff.

She looked around for the sheep she knew must be somewhere close by, and the dogs, but they weren’t in sight. She didn’t see any sort of vehicle either, or any other person besides the old man, watching her surreptitiously.

The old man cleared his throat suddenly, and she flinched, startled, but instead of speaking, the old man rose to his feet and walked toward the corral.

She stood as well, thinking he meant for her to follow, but he gave no sign, and she paused.

Passing Marin without word or look, he ducked under the hogan’s blanket door, emerging a moment later with an ancient-looking saddle, a bridle, and a thick saddle blanket woven in red and black yarns.

Silently, he began to saddle the horse, smoothing the blanket across the horse’s back and throwing the saddle over, pulling the cinch tight. He put the bridle on last, settling the bit into the horse’s mouth before reaching to adjust the braided ear straps. Without looking at her, he walked back, thrust the reins towards Marin, and spoke for the first time.

“You go now,” he said, and pursed his lips, pushing his chin toward the east.

Marin opened her mouth to object to taking his horse and slowly closed it again. The old man was giving her a way to get down the mountain, and she had no wish to bring trouble to him if Tolliver managed to follow her here.

She took the reins.

Haastiin Sanii grunted and stepped away toward the fire, and Marin tied her jacket to the saddle, surprised when he returned and pushed the remainder of the frybread into her hands.

“Over there,” he said, pointing again with his chin, “is a good way down.”

She waited for any more words the man might offer, for he seemed to be listening and thinking carefully, but he said nothing. He slapped the horse on the rump and stepped away.

“You go now,” he repeated.

Marin mounted, then turned in the saddle. “I’ll leave the horse at a trading post below,” she said.

Haastiin Sanii shrugged, relieved, as he watched her ride away. She was someone in a lot of trouble or someone bringing a lot of trouble, but he had done the best he could.

He looked down at his sash and fingered the gun he had found beside the spring, then looked down the trail at the woman on his grandson’s horse. He wondered if she knew a flashflood was coming and if she knew enough to stay out of the canyon.

He shrugged again, figured a ghost-witch would know and a crazy person wouldn’t care.

Author Bio:

Drawing from her years in the Southwest and the Navajo Nation, Jan Payne writes on themes of courage, regret, hope, and restoration in a world of created kinships. Through her characters’ lives and shared dangers—Marin Sinclair, end-of-life doula; Sergeant Justin Blue Eyes of the Navajo Nation Police; Cullen MacPherson, agent for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission; Garret Washburn, teenaged ward of Marin’s, and Lewis George, Raven spirit-guide-cum-trickster—she takes readers on a journey through the complex interactions of cultural backgrounds and personal histories, highlighting the way kinships forged in crisis have the power to reshape our lives.

Jan Payne lived on the Dineh (Navajo) reservation in Sanostee, on the New Mexico side of the Lukachukai mountain range, where she spent summers climbing mesas, taking camping trips on horseback, exploring ghost towns in the mountains of Colorado, or working with her dad breaking and training horses in Sanostee. Her two most memorable summer jobs were at a Durango, Colorado dude ranch working with pack mule trains and a brief stint as a camp cook at a uranium mining site.

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Instagram


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$10 GC – First Line Of Defense by Peter Bert @partnersincr1me

First Line of Defense by Peter Berk Banner

FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE

by Peter Berk

October 1, 2024 Book Blast

Synopsis:

First Line of Defense by Peter Berk

Will the President risk it all to save his son?

When college student Ben Porter is murdered in his apartment near the University of Maryland, all evidence points straight to his best friend and roommate, Brian Blaine—the son of Jackson Blaine, the President of the United States. Despite Brian’s estranged relationship with his father, Brian has no choice but to await trial in the house that was never a home—1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. These staggering events exacerbate the young man’s rocky relationship with his demanding father and might very well end his budding romance with a beautiful pre-med student. To the shock of the entire nation, President Jackson Blaine, a former defense lawyer, does the unthinkable—he decides to represent his son in court.

Will Brian and his father discover the truth about Ben’s murder before it’s too late?

Praise for award-winning author Peter Berk’s TimeLock series:

“A deftly crafted dystopian style science fiction suspense thriller of a novel, ‘TimeLock’ by the team of Howard and Peter Berk is a compulsive page turner of a read from cover to cover and unreservedly recommended . . .”
~ Midwest Book Review

“Rating 8 out of 10! TimeLock is a high-octane action thriller with a classic feel, reminiscent of Michael Crichton or Tom Clancy. It’s familiar, but in all the right ways.”
~ FanFiAddict

“5-Stars. Whoa!! Okay so this was awesome and I have to say first off- I hope like hell someone picks this up to make a movie or a show out of it!! This was a super interesting premise so I was hooked. It moved at a great pace and I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.”
~ Book Blogger @gryffindorbookishnerd

“5-Stars. I vastly enjoyed this quick read . . . The writing was keenly honed and smartly detailed . . . In sum, was a well-plotted and shrewdly paced action-packed thriller featuring slightly frayed characters and storylines that were cleverly laced together with wry humor and witty snark.”
~ Empress DJ/Honolulubelle, Books and Binding Book Reviews

Book Details:

Genre: Political Thriller
Published by: IngramElliott Publishing
Publication Date: October 1, 2024
Number of Pages: 242
ISBN: 9781952961281 (ISBN10: 1952961289)
Book Links: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | BookShop.org | Goodreads | IngramElliott Publishing

Read an excerpt:

Prologue

The early evening light in the sparse room was growing dim as the weathered photo was gently placed on top of a desk near the window. The left half of the image had been cut out of a newspaper and was then ripped in two down the middle; the shot depicted an angelic fourteen-year-old girl in a snowy setting, a pink wool cap on her head. The torn caption read: Teenaged Skiing Champ…

A few seconds later, a different image of the same girl was also set down on the desk and then another. In less than a minute, more than a dozen photos were methodically laid out—some in color, some in black and white—all of the same sweet girl, smiling, innocent, happy.

After several more minutes, the photos were organized in a symmetrical order that only had meaning to the person placing them there. The occupant of the room stared at the photos, lost in memory, consumed by anguish, anticipating the retribution about to be delivered. Though trying to subdue the rage inside, the fury soon grew too intense, and the owner of the photographs suddenly smashed both hands down on the desk and began tearing up each of the images over and over until every precious photo was sent flying to the ground in pieces, lost forever.

Just like her.

Chapter One

What I wouldn’t give to be having one of my usual nightmares instead of the real-life nightmare I’m living through now. Maybe the one where I’m only eight years old, waiting in front of my elementary school for my father to pick me up but he just keeps driving past me over and over. Or maybe the one when it’s three years ago, I’ve just graduated high school, and I pose for a cell phone photograph with my famous father and then see I’m somehow not in the image at all.

Detecting a recurring theme here? Unfortunately, for reasons too horrific for me to even begin wrapping my head around, my daddy issues are utterly unimportant now because all that matters is finding out what happened last night and why I’ve lost my best friend forever.

Not that I care what they must be saying about me, but I can only imagine the joy my family’s detractors must be feeling at this very moment. To everyone across America, my name is infamous at worst and privileged at best. Brian Blaine, the twenty-one-year-old junior at the University of Maryland who—despite his so-called genius-level IQ—has yet to choose a major, minors in ditching class, and seems mainly interested in serving as some kind of spoiler in his own family’s legacy.

And that was before last night.

Truth is I can’t blame them because I am rather a mass of contradictions. Confident one minute, deeply uncertain the next. Yearning for intimacy yet brimming with cynicism about the human animal. Pensive to the point of withdrawal at times yet surprisingly sociable when the mood strikes me at other times. Desperately wanting to love and be loved yet forever unsure whom to trust with that love.

Then there’s the little matter of my longstanding impatience with people who practice the infuriating art of “political speak”—talking in paper-thin little sound bites instead of actually saying what’s on their mind. Which makes me a card-carrying hypocrite, I suppose. Because for someone who extols straight talk, I realize at this worst moment in all of our lives that I’ve avoided just that my entire adult life.

After all, I’ve spent all this time in the public eye but rarely let anyone really see me. I’ve recited “heartfelt” speeches but never truly spoken from the heart. I’ve told my father what I’m doing, where I’m going, and who I’m seeing, but I’ve never told him who I really am. And, unfortunately, I don’t remember the last time he asked.

And now I wonder if I’ll ever have the chance.

Well, I think I’ve covered “me” as much as I can at this point. College. Drifting. Straight talk. Loneliness. Or didn’t I mention that last one?

Anyway, I guess that’s about it for now. Oh, yeah. Two other minor points.

My father is President of the United States, and I’ve just been arrested for murder.

Chapter Two

My new residence—jail—makes my just-off-campus apartment seem like Versailles by comparison. How I miss that crappy, wonderful, little place with its peeling paint, ugly carpet, and useless heater. How I miss my roommate and best friend, Ben Porter.

In deference to my father and security concerns, I’m mercifully being held in a cell by myself, thereby happily denying some tattooed bunkie named Moose lifelong bragging rights about boinking the president’s son. Nevertheless, my relief over being alone in this miserable place is more than overshadowed by my boundless grief and my ever-growing fear.

How could this have happened? How could someone—me?—have shot Ben in the head? How could I have been found apparently drunk or drugged and unconscious on Ben’s bedroom floor with my hand beside the gun that killed him? How could I not remember Ben’s murder when I was, according to everyone who saw me that night—Secret Service included—alone in the apartment with him at the time?

Yet all these unanswered questions take a distant backseat to the one question that’s dominated my every thought since this nightmare began: How am I going to ever come to grips with the loss of my closest friend? The one person I could trust and confide in completely. The one person who could see the real me and not the character I play for the press and the public. No wonder that despite my desperate attempt to maintain a veneer of stoic resolve as I wait here in this cold, dark cell, I can’t help but curl up in the corner and silently cry as I realize for the millionth time that Ben is really and truly gone forever.

Forcing myself to take my mind off my late friend for a moment, I pace the small cell and consider the reality that the court of public opinion has almost certainly already pronounced me guilty. I can almost hear them now: “Such a mercurial young man…so quiet and aloof…so impulsive…Not at all his father’s son…”

My father. Good God. I can only imagine how this is going to affect his job approval ratings, not to mention his re-election chances in November. He and I may have drifted apart the last few years, but whatever I think of him as a father, I’ve never doubted for a second how lucky I am—we all are—to have him as a president.

***

Excerpt from First Line of Defense by Peter Berk. Copyright 2024 by Peter Berk. Reproduced with permission from Peter Berk. All rights reserved.

 

 

Author Bio:

Peter Berk

Peter Berk has written six novels, three TV pilots and a dozen screenplays, including several with his father which became the basis for the TimeLock series of novels. The original TimeLock novel is a Finalist in the 2023 Chanticleer International Book Awards for Science Fiction, Mystery, and Global Thrillers. TimeLock was also named as a Distinguished Favorite in the TechnoThriller category of the 2024 Independent Press Award. TimeLock 2: The Kyoto Conspiracy was published in 2023 and the third book in the series will be published by IngramElliott. Peter and his family live in Southern California.

Catch Up With Peter Berk:
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Review – Ashes Never Lie by Lee Goldberg #netgalley #ashesneverlie @LeeGoldberg

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It’s been a while since I’ve read a Lee Goldberg novel and I must say, this was not one of my favorites. Every time I though it was going to ‘get there’, it didn’t. It doesn’t stop me from looking for more of Lee’s books to read. Could it be because he is a mainstream author I have high expectations?

The dialogue seemed forced. The back and forth banter seemed mean spirited, by the tone of the writing. I know it wasn’t meant that way.

We seemed to be all over the place and there was more than one bad guy doing bad things.

We have the politics of different police forces trying to run things, and that read true.

Gotta remember this is an ARC and there may be changes made, writing tightened up. The characters and mystery were fleshed out but it had an amateur feel to it, maybe a rushed feeling that I sure don’t expect from a mainstream author. That being said, I’ll still have my eye out for more of his work.

I voluntarily reviewed an ARC of Ashes Never Lie by Lee Goldberg.

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3 Star

The secrets hidden in smoldering ashes hold the fate of a city in an explosive thriller by #1 New York Times bestselling author Lee Goldberg.

Vacant homes in a new housing development are erupting into flames in broad daylight with no apparent cause. It’s a perplexing mystery for dogged arson investigator Walter Sharpe and his restless new partner, Andrew Walker, an ex–US marshal who craves action.

But as they puzzle over the blazes, another home miles away burns to the ground, leaving a man’s corpse in the ashes and homicide detectives Eve Ronin and Duncan Pavone demanding answers. The burn patterns and charred body tell Sharpe a bizarre story that only creates more questions for Eve. So the four detectives team up to find the answers. Their investigation into the two unrelated cases leads to one shocking discovery after another.

Now they must gamble their lives to unmask a brilliant arsonist, crack open a massive swindle, track down a desperate fugitive with a terrifying secret, and race against time to save thousands of people from an agonizing death.

  • Genre: Arson, Fiction, Mystery, Suspense, Thriller
  • 286 pages, Kindle Edition
  • Expected publication September 24, 2024
  • Series: Sharpe & Walker, #2

#1 New York Times Bestselling author Lee Goldberg is a two-time Edgar Award and two-time Shamus Award nominee whose many TV writing and/or producing credits include “Martial Law,” “SeaQuest,” “Diagnosis Murder,””Hunter,” “Spenser: For Hire,” “Nero Wolfe,” “Missing.” “Monk” and “The Glades.” He’s also the co-author of the Fox & O’Hare series with Janet Evanovich (The Heist, The Chase, The Job, The Scam, The Pursuit etc), “The Walk,” “Watch Me Die,” “King City,” the “Dead Man” series, as well as the “Diagnosis Murder” and “Monk” series of original mystery novels.

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Review – The Compass Killer by Michael Geczi @MichaelGeczi

Amazon / Goodreads

The Compass Killer is part of The Serial Killer Anthology, which will include five books, by Michael Geczi. Each book has a unique focus and The Compass Killer is about a serial killer, Travis Newsom, who has a last wish. He wants to know more about the people he killed and all those around them who were affects. Of course, I know you can’t believe what a psychopath says, but Reverend Stan McLogan feels by helping the serial killer get what he wants, he can find out about other killings. Quid pro quo. He is interested in learning more about their emotions and spirituality of those on death row.

I love reading about serial killers, but I don’t know if the why of their killings is ever answered. I love trying to decipher their motivations, which can probably never be known.

As the deadline approaches for his execution, I can’t help but think he deserves what is coming for him. As the clock ticks down, I can only think he has overstayed his welcome on this earth. Will he give the Reverend the list of his victims before he is put to death?

We learn about his killings, how his victims were chosen and how they died, leaving a compass on top of their bodies. All except one, why was that different.

As I approached the final pages of The Compass Killer by Michael Geczi, I was surprised at the fabulous ending. I never saw it coming. Well done, Michael.

I want to thank Michael for the opportunity to read and review The Compass Killer by Michael Geczi.

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4 Stars

The new addition to The Serial Killer Anthology! Get it today!

Facing execution, Arizona death-row inmate Travis Newsom, “The Compass Killer,” has a last wish: he tells Rev. Stan McLogan he wants to learn more before he’s dead about the families and friends of his victims as well as the family he abandoned. McLogan thinks it’s a great opportunity to identify additional victims that Newsom may have killed beyond the ones he left small round compasses on in 1998 after murdering them. He asks his friend, Santa Monica Detective Nour El Masry, if she’ll help with the research.

The task is far from straightforward, however. McLogan’s prison discussions with Newsom take surprising psychological twists and turns, reflecting both men’s own agendas. El Masry’s research raises questions about Newsom’s background and what he’s sharing. And Arizona politics put the execution at risk.

As deadlines approach, McLogan questions his involvement with the prisoner, and Newsom discovers the young minister is a formidable adversary and not the naïve soft touch he imagined. El Masry, meanwhile, finds new information about the origins of Newsom’s life of lies and violence.

The Compass Killer, the fourth book in the Serial Killer Anthology, brings together elements of the series’ three previous stories: The Deadly Samaritan (McLogan’s parents and a 1992 serial killer case); Killer Dead, Victim Alive (Santa Monica Detectives Greg Nichols and Mollie Granger), and Hunting a Cat in Dogtown (Nour El Masry, Nichols and Granger).

Former Wall Street Journal, BusinessWeek, Associated Press and Dallas Morning News writer and editor; Wall Street executive; best-selling author; communications/crisis consultant and university instructor (University of Southern California’s Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism). Also author of Futures: The Anti-Inflation Investment. Lives in Scottsdale, Arizona with his wife, Lisa.

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Library Love – Don’t Believe It by Charlie Donlea @CharlieDonlea

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Sidney Ryan has chosen to do a twelve week documentary on Grace Sebold, who was accused of killing her boyfriend on Spring Break. Charlie Donlea let me think I knew what’s happening, but I was so wrong. I knew it wouldn’t be the simple answer, but Charlie took me somewhere I didn’t see coming. I did have a hunch about one character and that panned out, but there is so much more to the story. By the time I got halfway through I saw I was getting more than I bargained for in this psychological thriller.

If you are looking for a complex, unputdownable mystery, pick up a copy of Don’t Believe It by Charlie Donlea.

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4 Stars

The Girl of Sugar Beach is the most watched documentary in television history—a riveting, true-life mystery that unfolds over twelve weeks and centers on a fascinating question: Did Grace Sebold murder her boyfriend, Julian, while on a Spring Break vacation, or is she a victim of circumstance and poor police work? Grace has spent the last ten years in a St. Lucian prison, and reaches out to filmmaker Sidney Ryan in a last, desperate attempt to prove her innocence.

As Sidney begins researching, she uncovers startling evidence overlooked during the original investigation. Before the series even finishes filming, public outcry leads officials to reopen the case. 

Delving into Grace’s past, Sidney peels away layer after layer of deception. But as she edges closer to the real heart of the story, Sidney must decide if finding the truth is worth risking her newfound fame, her career … even her life.

  • Genre: Mystery, Psychological Thriller, Suspense, Thriller
  • 402 pages, Kindle Edition
  • First published May 29, 2018 by Pinnacle Books

Charlie Donlea is the USA TODAY and #1 Internationally bestselling author of SUMMIT LAKE, THE GIRL WHO WAS TAKEN, DON’T BELIEVE IT, SOME CHOOSE DARKNESS, THE SUICIDE HOUSE, TWENTY YEARS LATER, and THOSE EMPTY EYES. His eighth thriller, LONG TIME GONE, explores the science of forensic genealogy and will be released in June 2024.

His books have been translated into twenty languages across nearly forty countries. He resides in Chicago with his wife and two children.

He spends a part of each year fishing with his father in the far reaches of Canada, where the roads end and lakes are accessible only by floatplane. These majestic trips to “God’s Country” inspired the setting for his first novel, Summit Lake.

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$20 GC & Review – The Button Collector by M M Cochran @xpressotours

MY REVIEW

I love a good thriller, so when I saw the awesome cover for The button collector by M M Cochran, I was sucked right in. It doesn’t take long for me to become engrossed in the story.

Chicago journalist, Jessica Knight is being stalked and her relatives are being picked off, one after another. She feels she is constantly under watch by the killer. How long before her number comes up?

She hops from bed to bed, using and being used. I don’t have a lot of respect for her, but that doesn’t mean she deserves to be murdered,

They call HIM the The Button Collector because when he kills, he leaves one button sewing the victim’s mouth shut and takes one as a trophy.

I was reading, just cruising along, when BAM, the killer hits me in the face. I never saw it coming and it was a doozy. That alone makes the book worth reading.

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4 Stars

The Button Collector
M.M. Cochran
Publication date: September 17th 2024
Genres: Adult, Psychological Thriller

When Chicago journalist Jessica Knight is linked to a string of odd murders happening across the country, her life takes a turn for the worse.

She is left wondering why her relatives are the ones dropping like flies under the signature mark of a serial killer . . . why she can’t stop thinking about Michael Bradley, the appealing detective assigned to protect her . . . and most of all, why, despite being the Button Collector’s prime target, she’s still alive at all. One thing she knows for certain: the killer is always watching. As the line between truth and deception begins to blur, Jessica crumbles under the dense web of lies she’s trying to keep straight–especially once the police start questioning more than just her sanity. With pressure mounting, Jessica must navigate being under the watchful eye of the police–and the killer–while risking it all in a dangerous game to make up for the mistakes of her past.

Her days are numbered…one way or the other.

Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / iBooks / Kobo

—

EXCERPT:

Chapter 1

The first thing I feel when I step outside my apartment building is his eyes on me.

They burn. They haunt. They’re always there, somehow finding me almost every day since the first murder.

Long shadows stretch over the brown patch of grass before my building. They’re soft on my boots and heavy on the winter flowers that need sun. Rain pelts down the petals, but I’m too cold to get my fingers wet and shake the water off the weak flowers.

The thick weather clouds the feeling of his surveillance, but I still close my eyes to escape it.

Count backwards from ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Okay, it’s gone.

Now open your eyes, I instruct myself.

It’s time to catch a cab. “Time to catch a cab,” I say.

Leave me alone. “Leave me alone,” I say.

The office buzzes with fluorescent lights over rickety desks made for half-hearted journalists. I slide between their narrow spaces and make my way to the associate editor’s desk. The editor in chief smokes in his office, and Della can tell me everything he knows, so I avoid him and his stench. It’s not something I can handle this morning, though on a good morning, I’d crave the smell of his cigarettes.

“Della, John wanted to see me? Why?” The tip of my umbrella taps the ground, sprinkling cold drops of leftover rain onto my pant leg.

She doesn’t even look at me, doesn’t even jump at the opportunity to comment on my red lipstick that’s too dark or my unshapely long coat. “He’s in his office.”

“But—”

“Jessica.”

The smoke in John’s office rolls onto me in waves of foggy white. My automatic response is to cough, clear my throat, but it would be nothing more than for show. He knows I’m used to it.

“Knight. Come here, I’ve got somethin’ for you.” He fingers me in and motions for me to take a seat. The dark leather on the chair does everything but absorb the moisture from my wet thighs.

He nudges a stack of papers in my direction. “Here’re some stories for the week that I came across over the weekend. Fire and Crime section looks like it’ll be good and full next issue, but I’d like you to start on this Button story. A profile about him to follow-up his murder we reported on last week. It’ll take some research, so I want your time and attention on this one. All week.” He taps the folder with his index and middle finger, keeping his cigarette in place between them. “Make it good. If you need me to get some intern on the other stuff, you just let me know, Knight. Let’s focus on this Button profile, and make sure to really center it around the freakshow killer more than the victims.”

John takes a long, focused drag off the cigarette. Blows it in a thin streak over his shoulder. Eyes me with a glare that’s crimped with sixty-year-old crow’s feet.

“You alright, Knight?”

“Fine. But why do you want me for this? I’m not investigative, just—”

“A hard crime reporter. I know. But you really proved yourself with investigative journalism skills after you covered that murder trial last month. I want to spread your wings a little more. Cover this Button story, Knight. It’s going to sell a lot of papers. Keep it up, and we’ll change your title to Investigative instead of just Crime Journalist.”

“Thanks, John, but I’m comfortable with my position.”

“I’ll give you a little raise, dear.” He wraps his lips around his cigarette and blows the smoke over his shoulder again. “And I’ll hire one of those interns to take over hard crime. Okay?”

“Alright. Thank you.”

“Well, we’ll see how this Button story goes.”

I nod.

“You sure you’re okay, Knight?”

“Yeah, fine.”

“Then shake that look off your face and get to work. I’d like to have that story by Thursday; I want the designers to arrange A1 layout around it. This’ll generate a lot of attention, you know. People are all over this Button Collector thing.”

“The word count?” I ask. I usually don’t have to talk word counts with him, but with big stories like this—like that trial—he always has some requirements to meet.

“Give me nine-hundred, no less.”

A knock on the door diverts his attention to behind me. “John,” the receptionist says, “a young lady would like to speak with you about advertisement.”

John pushes back his chair and stands, surrendering his cigarette to the dusty ash tray. “Stay here, Knight. I’ll be right back.”

My next breath is stifled by the smoke that folds into my face when he walks by. He leaves the door cracked behind him.

Author Bio:

As both a self-published and traditionally published author of YA fiction and a thriller, I know how vulnerable and scary handing your manuscript to an editor can be. . . But it is my job to take care of my clients and their stories, cherishing them as my own.
My novel, Between the Ocean the Stars, was ranked #2 at the worldwide distributors center upon publication and later named a finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards. My next novel, The Button Collector, releases in 2024.

Website / Instagram


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$25 GC – The Courtesan’s Pirate by Nina Wachsman @partnerincr1me

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THE COURTESAN’S PIRATE

by Nina Wachsman

September 9 – October 4, 2024 Virtual Book Tour

Synopsis:

The Courtesan's Pirate by Nina Wachsman

Venice Beauties Mysteries

 

1614. At long last, Belladonna has been reunited with Isaak, a pirate captain, on the island of Jamaica. Amidst the chaos of hurricanes and Spanish marauders, they are separated. When she discovers her beloved Isaak is captured and bound for execution in Spain, Belladonna goes back to Venice, planning to leverage her allies to save him, only to learn her influence has diminished. Now facing cunning adversaries and shifting alliances, she must navigate perilous intrigues in a high-stakes bid to rescue Isaak from a tragic fate. Belladonna risks everything, including her own safety, in a daring gambit to save the man she loves.

Praise for The Courtesan’s Pirate:

“Join Belladonna and Isaak on a Caribbean quest filled with rich history, dangerous risks, and suspenseful intrigue. Will the couple be reunited? Can Belladonna save her love and her soul? If you like an atmospheric adventure story, you’ll love The Courtesan’s Pirate. Witty and engaging!”
~ Kelly Oliver, author of The Fiona Figg & Kitty Lane Mysteries

“From the pirate-infested waters of the Caribbean to the silken-clad intrigues of Venice, Nina Wachsman vividly recreates life, and particularly the dangers faced by Jews, in the turbulent 17th century. Exciting and richly textured, with strong, admirable female characters.”
~ Alyssa Maxwell, author of The Gilded Newport Mysteries

Book Details:

Genre: Historical Suspense
Published by: Level Best Books
Publication Date: September 1, 2024
Number of Pages: 350
Series: Venice Beauties Mysteries, Book 3
Book Links: Amazon | Goodreads

Read an excerpt:

PART 1 – THE NEW WORLD

CHAPTER 1 – BELLADONNA

THE ISLAND OF JAMAICA, The fifth of NOVEMBER, 1614

“Just a short trip to Curacao,” Isaak said, as he stood beside her on the dock, “I will return shortly, I promise.”

Belladonna wondered how many women had heard the very same words from their fathers, sons, and lovers, and how many had returned to their families, as promised.

“Why must you go?” Belladonna had waited so long and given up so much to be with Isaak. She secretly believed their union was at risk every time they were away from each other.

“Despite our efforts to attract the English to Jamaica, the Spanish have moved faster, and the heirs of Christopher Columbus have been bought off. We need to find somewhere else to settle,” Isaak said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.

She raised her eyes skyward, to keep the tears from rising. “Then my brother died for naught.”

“We cannot change the past, but we must try to find the way to our future, for you and I and for your brother Roderigo’s family. Curacao has been abandoned by the Spanish and will soon become part of the dominion of the Dutch West India Company.”

Belladonna wanted to believe his promise, but after a life tossed about at the whim of Fate, it seemed like random interventions could foil any plan they made for the future.

Isaak caressed her cheek. “It is also a port of call of the Jewish Brethren. Under the Dutch we have little to fear. The Dutch are the only nation who does not force its Jews to live separately in a Ghetto. We will soon formalize our union. There lies our potential future.”

Belladonna sighed. “In Curacao do you believe no one will care about our origins ̶ if we are Jew or Christian?”

Like her sister-in-law Mariella, she had begun life as the daughter of a New Christian landowner who had sought freedom in the New World. In a terrible twist of Fate, on a visit to Recife, Brazil, the Inquisition had murdered her parents because of their Jewish heritage, turning her into a refugee. Luck had found her, and she had been rescued by Isaak from Barbary pirates. Thanks to Isaak she had been taken to Venice, but he had soon set sail once more, leaving her to save others from captivity.

When Isaak returned to Venice to reunite her with her brother Roderigo, feelings between the courtesan and the corsair were rekindled, and Belladonna made her decision to sail with Isaak. Giving up her palazzo, her wealth and servants had gone against her usual cynicism but for once, she had chosen love over security.

“It is worth the chance,” said Isaak, and then he pulled her close, “You must stop nourishing your guilt over the death of Roderigo. You have come here to take care of his family as you promised. And we have accomplished the impossible: we are together at last.”

Belladonna acknowledged her satisfaction with her decision. “Over the past year in Jamaica and with you, I have discovered the comfort of family, which had been missing from my life for so long. Why dare Fate to disrupt our happiness once more?”

Isaak looked beyond her towards the sea. “There is a storm coming, which will provide us with a distraction to sail by Spanish war ships gathering along the coast.” He lifted her chin and brushed her lips with a last kiss. “Both the storm and the Spanish ships represent a bad omen. But do not fear, I am a seasoned captain and have sailed through worse brews than this. But my senses tell me our idyll in Jamaica is bound to come to an end. I must go to Curacao.”

Belladonna did not want to let him go, but he kissed her, and gently disengaged from her. She ran to the edge of the wooden dock, and leaned as far forward as she dared. He waved one last time as he boarded his ship. She reasoned that the fierce winds should be good for sailing and would speed Isaak’s journey. Squinting, she tried to see his figure on the bridge, imagining him making his farewell to Jamaica and to her.

Isaak’s fears about Jamaica were not unfounded. The Spanish were becoming bolder in establishing their dominion over the island, even though it officially remained under the sovereignty of the heirs to Christopher Columbus. The end of Jamaica’s independence was near, and once the Spanish took over, both she and Isaak, as well as her newfound family would be in danger because of their Jewish blood.

“Senora, we must go. Big storm is coming, and we must prepare. The sky do not look good. Horses do not like it.” The coachman peered up at the amassing dark clouds, and then gave her a pleading look.

Reluctantly, Belladonna turned away from the sea towards the mountains. “Let us go.”

Adjusting his hat so it was firmly placed on his head, the driver flicked his whip and the horses responded by taking off at a gallop, as if they were as eager as the driver to find shelter. Belladonna craned her neck, still looking towards the dock as they drove away.

The coachman kept the horses going at a fast gallop, so she had to hold tight to both sides of the carriage to avoid toppling forward. The wind kicked up the dust of the roadway, flinging it through the bushes and trees, shaking loose leaves and petals, swirling through the air and into their faces.

“Hiyah!” the coachman shouted again at the horses, flicking his whip so they galloped even faster. Used to traveling by boat in Venice, she knew little of carriages and put her faith in the coachman to get them home safely.

Lurching from side to side in the speeding carriage, she closed her eyes to shut out the frightening views of a careening landscape. She dared open them only when the carriage slowed, and the wails of the wind were softer. They had entered the sheltering thickness of the mangrove forest adjoining her brother’s land. The trees here were very thick and though their upper boughs still rustled in the wind, she felt more protected. The respite from the wind did not last long, and soon the carriage emerged from the mangrove trees into a slashing rain. The downpour swamped the open carriage, soaking her completely and making it even more difficult to move forward. Though it seemed like an eternity in the wind and rain, the coach soon drew to a sharp halt. Safe.

Her brother’s plantation house stood two stories tall, surrounded by trees, which the wind lashed against the closed shutters. Assailed by wind and rain, it did not seem to be the safe haven it had seemed several months ago when she first arrived on the island. After over a year at sea, when she first stepped onto the grand veranda, it had conjured long-ago memories of home. Though not as grand as the palazzo she possessed in Venice, it did have many rooms, furnished comfortably with bright island fabrics on sofas and chairs. There were flowers in abundance, and island paintings and pottery similar to her childhood home on the island.

That home and her family had been torn from her when the Inquisition came to Recife, Brazil where they had been visiting relatives. Her parents were New Christians, having been born Jews but then baptized, like many others who had come to the New World, and easy targets for accusations of heresy and the fires of an auto de fé. Both she and Roderigo had escaped capture, but each did not know the other survived until very recently, when they had found each other in Venice. Their reunion was short-lived; and Roderigo’s dying request was for Belladonna to find his family in Jamaica and make sure they were cared for.

After securing the door behind her, Belladonna stood in the entry hall, water dripping from her gown and pooling at her feet.

“Mariella!” she shouted, hoping her sister-in-law was in the house, and could hear her above the howling wind.

Mariella and Moises, her son, bounded down the stairway from the upper floor, each carrying armfuls of clothing and possessions.

“We do not have much time,” Mariella shouted back to her above the rattling of the shutters and the wind, “We must go. Take what you need.”

“We cannot stay here?”

Moises answered for his mother. “When the wind is this strong, the house is not safe. We must go to the Cave.”

Cave? Belladonna shivered in her wet clothes at the thought of it. Mentally, she checked off what she needed to take, including the small leather sack of jewels which had been with her since Venice. Hurrying up the stairs with her water-heavy skirts, she raced to her room. She quickly shed her wet clothing for dry ones, then pulled up a few select floorboards and retrieved the leather sack. She stuffed it into a bundle of clothing she had grabbed, and was heading for the stairs just as the shutters of her room banged wide open. Rain and wind invaded as Belladonna ran, skirting the flying debris of a large tree that had crashed through.

Her wet feet slid on the polished wood floors where she landed from her flight down the stairway, but neither Mariella nor Moises were in sight. She called out both their names, and let out a breath of relief when Moises emerged from behind the door to the servant’s area and beckoned to her.

She followed Moises below the stairs to the servants’ dining area and the kitchen. The servants’ quarters were protected by bushes and were on a lower level, so Belladonna assumed they could take refuge there. The few servants huddled together on plain wooden benches.

“Ready to go?” asked Mariella, Belladonna’s sister-in-law, who had taken full charge. “We have taken some food and supplies. The storm is growing more severe, and it is best we go now, or we will not be able to make it to the Cave.”

“What is this Cave?”

“The Cave of Christopher Columbus. It is on the highest point on the island, safe from flooding, and deep enough to avoid the damage of the wind.”

“That is not the same cave from the map that Roderigo—”

Mariella held up a hand and did not allow her to continue. “Yes, it is. But there is no time for talking or explaining. It is imperative we leave this house now, before another tree crashes down.”

A whimper from a maid was the only other comment as the servants were instantly on their feet, each clutching a bundle of belongings.

Mariella wrapped a shawl around her head and handed another to Belladonna to do the same. As soon as the outer door opened, the wind swept them into its maelstrom. Clustered together, they braced themselves as best as they could, and faced the storm.

***

Excerpt from The Courtesan’s Pirate by Nina Wachsman. Copyright 2024 by Nina Wachsman. Reproduced with permission from Nina Wachsman. All rights reserved.

 

 

Author Bio:

Nina Wachsman

Nina Wachsman is a graduate of the Parsons School of Design, where she studied under Maurice Sendak. She is currently lives and runs a digital agency in New York City. She is also a descendant of a chief rabbi of the Ghetto, a contemporary of her characters in the Venice Beauties Mysteries. The Gallery of Beauties, her debut novel set in 17th Century Venice, was an Agatha nominee for Best First Novel and a Silver Falchion finalist for Best Historical mystery. The second book in the Venice Beauties Mysteries, The Courtesan’s Secret received a 5 star recommendation from the Historical Fiction Company and is a Silver Falchion Top Pick and a finalist for the Silver Falchion for Best Historical. Nina has published stories, many with an art theme, in mystery and horror magazines and anthologies. She is one of the four authors who write stories and novels about art and crime as Curators of Crime.

Catch Up With Nina Wachsman:
VeniceBeauties.com
Goodreads
BookBub – @ninawachsman
Instagram – @thegalleryofbeauties
Threads – @thegalleryofbeauties
Facebook – @nina.wachsman

You can also find Nina on the www.CuratorsOfCrime.com website and Facebook – @curatorsofcrime page or at Facebook – @GalleryBeauties.

 

 

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Library Love Review – Eruption by Michael Crichton & James Patterson #michaelcrichton #jamespatterson

Eruption by James Patterson and Michael Crichton

Amazon / Audiobook / Goodreads

When I saw Eruption, it’s gorgeous cover and Michael Crichton’s and James Patterson names, I virtually hopped over to the library and grabbed me a copy. Michael Crichton had passed away before he could finish the novel, and James Patterson picked up the torch.

A once in a century volcanic eruption is about to destroy the Big Island of Hawaii. If that isn’t enough, there is a military secret that could cause a worldwide catastrophic event.

Did Eruption live up to its hype? Well, the pacing kept me ‘flipping pages’ wondering how they were going to get out of the mess they are in. Maybe it also contains a warning to us mortals. Sometimes the things we do come back and bite us on the ass. This could have been one of those moments, but through the valor and bravery of many, the worse case scenario was avoided. Just goes to show what can happen when everyone works together.

All in all, it was worth the wait, a month or so, to get a copy from my library.

Animated Animals. Pictures, Images and Photos
3 Stars

A history-making once-in-a-century volcanic eruption is about to destroy the Big Island of Hawaii. But a decades-old military secret could turn the volcano into something even more terrifying… Now it’s up to a handful of brave individuals to save the island – and the entire world.

Two of the bestselling storytellers of all time have created an unforgettable thriller. The master of the techno-blockbuster joins forces with the master of the modern thriller to create the most anticipated mega bestseller in years. Michael Crichton, creator of Jurassic Park, ER, Twister, and Westworld, had a passion project he’d been pursuing for years, ahead of his untimely passing in 2008. Knowing how special it was, his wife, Sherri Crichton, held back his notes and the partial manuscript until she found the right author to complete it: James Patterson, the world’s most popular storyteller. Eruption brings the pace of Patterson to the concept of Crichton: the most anticipated mega-thriller in years.

  • Genre: Military, Mystery, Psychological Thriller, Suspense, Thriller
  • 432 pages, ebook
  • First published June 3, 2024 by Little, Brown & Company
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  • If you like what you see, why don’t you follow me?
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  • Leave your link in the comments and I will drop by to see what’s shakin’.
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  • Thanks for visiting fundinmental!

$20 GC – Insensible Loss by Linda L Richards @partnersincr1me

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INSENSIBLE LOSS

by Linda L. Richards

September 9 – October 4, 2024 Virtual Book Tour

Insensible Loss by Linda L Richards did not go the way I thought it would. I think the reason is because Insensible Loss is the fourth book in The Endings series. I feel it can stand alone, and I have read the first book, Exit Strategy, but I would have loved to have read the Book II, Dead West. It would have given more background on the assassin, and I want to know why she’s running Dead West.

She finds her way to Ocotillo, Imogen’s place. Imogen is a famous painter who has chosen to rid herself of the hassles of the outside world. From assassin to painter, can she take over Imogen’s life? Why would Imogen want her to do that to begin with?

I do love assassins and The Endings series is a break from the traditional assassin stories I read. I am always on the lookout for an author who breaks out from the pack and Linda L Richards has done just that.

There is an ominous feeling lingering on the pages. I have that ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ feeling and how bad it is going to be. I sure didn’t see it coming and I do love an author that can surprise me. I didn’t have that urgent feeling of impending death, but I did have hairs standing up on the back of my neck. Is someone watching me, I mean her?

It’s just her and Phil, her dog, on the road again. Every time I say Phil, I smile.

I love that Linda L Richards was able to throw me a curve ball or two. I have a feeling the story isn’t finished and I do wonder what could be in store for her.

I voluntarily reviewed a free ARC for Insensible Loss by Linda L Richards.

.

Animated Animals. Pictures, Images and Photos
4 Stars

The Endings Series

 

Her life is over . . . yet somehow she carries on

After attempting to sever all ties to her life as a hired assassin, a woman struggles to understand who she has become. She knows she doesn’t want to kill again–but it proves to be a difficult habit to break, particularly in a world where people are after her and those she loves most.

Adrift and disconnected, she meets an old woman: Imogen O’Brien, a world-famous artist who has spent the last three decades living a hermit-like existence on a rustic desert estate in a national forest. Imogen invites her to stay and work for her, offering mentorship in return as the woman deepens her own interest in art.

What quickly becomes apparent is that elements of Imogen’s past are shrouded in danger, sorrow, and darkness. Rather than growing as an artist, the former hitwoman soon finds herself enmeshed in a dangerous mystery with strands that stretch decades into the past.

Praise for Insensible Loss:

“Deception, loss, and the past all collide in this propulsive thriller. A skillfully crafted plot combined with memorable characters makes Insensible Loss a must read.”
~ James L’Etoile, award-winning author of Face of Greed and the Detective Nathan Parker series

Book Details:

Genre: Thriller/Suspense
Published by: Oceanview Publishing
Publication Date: September 17, 2024
Number of Pages: 320
ISBN: 978-1608095148
Series: The Endings Series, Book 4 | Each is a Stand-Alone
Book Links: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | BookShop.org | Goodreads

Read an excerpt:

CHAPTER ONE

I am gazing into an abyss. When I plant my feet on the edge of the cliff, all I see is a canyon yawing below me. I see the canyon, and my feet, tightly laced into trail runners. Below and beyond my tidy feet, red rock can be seen everywhere, edges softened by millennia, but deadly still. And steep.

Arcadia Bluff. It has a gentle sound, this location. But the reality is anything but gentle. A rough rawness that would seem to be able to accommodate anything one pitched in that direction. Wild west. There’s that, but also more. The secrets of an earth so raw and new, it doesn’t know what it wants to be when it grows up.

It happens that the physical landscape matches what is going on in my heart, but this is mere coincidence. And anyway, everything is connected.

I am in a remote part of one of the largest national parks in the United States, and I am all alone, but for my dog.

Again, aside from that dog, I feel as if I have been alone for my whole life, but that isn’t true. What is true: everyone I’ve ever loved is dead. Some of them by my hand.

But all of that was before. Here is now.

I stand on Arcadia Bluff and the canyon below my feet seems to careen out endlessly. The aforementioned abyss. The red rock, dotted by trees and even the occasional cactus, seeming to sprout from the rock at odd angles, because the perpendicular drop doesn’t support normal growth.

In the distance, far below me, I see a sliver of silvery blue. Maybe it’s a river or the edge of a lake, but when I look straight down, between my feet, I see nothing but rock and cactus and peril. It gives me a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach to look down, so I try to avoid doing that.

We drove in my old Volvo to get here, the dog and I. The car is dear to me. I’ve had it a long time and it performs elegantly. Like a tank. An elegant tank. It is a premium car, or it was, but now it is ancient. In good condition, but unremarkable, one of the things about it that I’ve always cherished: it has never drawn comment. And no one would suspect that under the trunk’s false bottom they would find two Bersa Thunder 380 handguns and a whole lot of cash. The car is now my home, my armory, and my bank. Who needs anything more?

Well, maybe I do. But never mind. The journey, that’s the thing.

To get here, the path we traveled in that old Volvo is a forestry road. The road is marked on maps as little more than a trail. It is unpaved and unremarked. And putting it that way—the path we traveled—makes it sound like a destination. It wasn’t that. It is just the place where, for the moment, we have ended up. When this moment is complete, we’ll travel some more. Maybe come to something else. It’s what we have now, this life made of almost nothing. As you will have guessed, this state of near nothing didn’t happen overnight.

A while ago I left behind the hollowed-out shell of the life I had created. The sham. The farce. The life in which I lived while I processed all of my grief.

Tried to process all of my grief.

Do you know what I discovered? You don’t process grief. It lives inside you, waiting for you to trot through the minefield that is life. Waiting for you to make just that one step and the grief explodes back into your face. If you were to process it—like cheese, like peanut butter—at a certain point it would be smooth and glossy and perfectly digestible. Consume it and forget it. But grief isn’t like that. It waits around because all it actually wants is to bite you in the ass.

I sound bitter. The tonic in a vodka drink. I don’t mean to, but there you are. Sometimes what you feel overrides everything you know.

After I left said reconstructed and hollowed-out life, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was basically—entirely?—homeless. My dog. And me. Homeless and aimless. I had my car. Several handguns. A few small things that I had come to treasure. And a whole whack of cash. The cash was necessary, because this is what I no longer possessed: any form of identification or credit cards. Or anything that said I was a person at all. I had simply disappeared. You mostly can’t do that forever.

A myriad of small things will trip you up. You can’t travel by air. You can’t book a motel. You can’t call an Uber. Or bank. When you start to think about it, there are more things you can’t do than what you can. After a while you need a landing spot. And you need a plan.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Here goes another run.

Once upon a time—like a fairy story—I was a mom. A wife. A cornerstone of my community. I had a house. A pebble-tech pool.

A minivan with leather seats and televised communication. I had all of the accoutrements of suburbia, right down to the suburb. Tree-lined streets that I traveled to get to my job and take my kid to his school. I had attractive but not fiendishly manicured lawns. A home. That’s what it was. My husband, my son. Me. We were a family. We had a home.

One day there was an accident. People were killed. My child. Ultimately my husband, too. I was unexpectedly alone. All I had was a whole bunch of mortgaged crap I hadn’t even dreamed of wanting in the first place. After a while of being alone and having no money, I needed a new job and I started taking contracts to kill people.

You see how my narrative breaks down right there? I mean, everything was going along well, from a storytelling standpoint. I’d engaged your sympathy. Maybe even your interest. And then— boom!—I blow all that goodwill with a simple revelation. Yes. Killing people. For money. What kind of nice lady does that? No kind, that’s what. But it let’s you know at least part of why I run.

And so here we are. Standing on the edge of a cliff. And I’m not expecting to jump.

CHAPTER TWO

Lately I’ve noticed that I have become afraid of the dark. It doesn’t make sense to me. I am aware of no new trauma that might have led to this condition. Nyctophobia. I have read about it. I have googled, as they say.

I’ve “done some research.” So I know a little about the condition that currently plagues me. I’ve read that it is fairly normal or, at least, not uncommon. I’ve read, also, that fear is healthy. In our natural state, I guess, fear is what keeps us alive and safe.

For months, I have found myself waking from peaceful slumber and moving to instant terror when the dark is encountered. The dog smells the fear, or at least that is what I guess. When I wake in this way, I can hear him rustling about as he comes to me. He lays his muzzle on whatever part of me he can reach: my hand or my arm or even a bit of toe. And he’ll stay there like that, breathing quietly, until my demons have passed, or I turn on a light.

Usually, I turn on a light.

There are things you can do, that’s what I’ve read, as well. And there is evolved language around it. You can deal with your triggers or work at desensitizing yourself to darkness. This sort of healthy self-examination has never been my forte, and so after a while, I come up with my own solution: I begin to sleep with the light on. It keeps the demons at bay.

All of this would probably be of more concern if we had a home anymore, the dog and I. But we don’t. As I said, we are traveling, no destination in mind other than a vague and distant future that at present has no shape.

Every day, we cover many miles in the Volvo. The forestry roads in Arizona’s Cathedral National Park seem endless. The park itself seems endless, as well. We keep traveling, only occasionally surfacing for fuel or other supplies. We do that at small gas stations either within the park or just on the outskirts. Places that take cash and don’t ask questions. Then we delve right back into the depths of the park. We just drive and drive and drive, stopping only for calls of the body, as well as those infrequent times when I run out of steam. At those times, since we are out—literally and actually—in the middle of nowhere, I just stop the car, then pitch the small tent that lives over top of the false bottom of the trunk. And then I try to rest.

The closest I ever get to actual rest is when the dog settles down somewhere near me, then gets to snoring peacefully. Something about that sound is hypnotic to me. I’ll surf behind it until, sometimes, falling under the spell of the simple, primal cadence, I fall asleep. In and out, in and out. I float away on a column of dog snores that lead to core sleep, when my subconscious scrambles to make up for time lost.

In the morning we pack up and head out again. Where are we going? Why? I don’t have answers. I don’t even have questions. All I know is that everything is behind me. I’m not hopeful about what is in front of me, but it’s better than going back.

Everyone knows that you can’t go back.

***

Excerpt from Insensible Loss by Linda L. Richards. Copyright 2024 by Linda L. Richards. Reproduced with permission from Linda L. Richards. All rights reserved.

 

 

Author Bio:

Linda L. Richards is the award-winning author of over a dozen books. The founder and publisher of January Magazine and a contributing editor to the crime fiction blog The Rap Sheet, she is best known for her strong female protagonists in the thriller genre. Richards is from Vancouver, Canada and currently makes her home in Phoenix, Arizona. New for 2024: INSENSIBLE LOSS, the fourth book in the Endings series featuring a reluctant hit woman struggling towards the light. Linda’s 2021 novel, the first in this series, ENDINGS, was recently optioned by a major studio for series production. Richards is an accomplished horsewoman and an avid tennis player, and is on the National Board of Sisters in Crime.

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